51: Occupied

 

AIR DATE: 12/16/11

“Old Time News”
QUANDT:
Coming up on No Show…
1. Hank & Hal Occupy Generic Incorporated
2. Facebook Haters gonna hate
3. Why Occupy Wall Street is retarded
And this just in:
A 90-year-old Transvestite Cher impersonator just performed his final shown Las Vegas –oh wait, my bad! — That was ACTUAL Cher performing her final show.
THEME SONG
COWAN:
“You’re listening to No Show: where we mock anything and everything
Episode 51, December 16, 2011
-Introductions
Hank & Hal
“Hank & Hal Occupy Generic, Inc”
Facebook Police
“Where we police facebook”
- Chris Brown makes people cry

Craptastic Product
“where we talk about craptastic products”
The Potty Putt

Weekly Rant
“Where we choose a random topic… and talk about it”
9 Reasons Why Occupy Wall Street is retarded
Reason #9: Lists of Demands/ Statements:
Reason #8: Pepper Spray Incident
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhPdH3wE0_Y&sns=fb
-hypocrisy; “media doesn’t tell the whole story!”
Reason #7: Including people in the 99% who don’t WANT to be the 99%!
Reason #6: Top 1 % pays about 37% of the income taxes, and the top 5% pay 57% of the income taxes. That’s not enough?
Reason #5: Kicking the HOMELESS people out of the parks where they were kicking it.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQzuuI8T3XE
Reason #4: Tons of photos of iphones, lap tops, $5 lattes = first world problems
Reason # 3: Trust Fund Baby Protester
Reason # 2: V for Vendetta/Guy Fawkes masks
- imitating an attempted murderer/anarchist
- purchased from the largest online retail corporation
- benefiting one of the largest media corporations
Reason # 1: Half of them don’t even know WHAT they’re protesting!
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrPGoPFRUdc

Closing
- Intro & Outro music provided by The Royaltons
- This week’s Hank & Hal skit written byChris Cowan
- This week’s closing sketch written by Chris Cowan
- website, email address, phone number
-Donate-get your message out!

Don’t touch that dial!  Coming up next on…
Brainstorming Justin Beiber’s Christmas Special

50: Shows That Didn’t Know When To Quit

Episode 50, August 5th, 2011

-Introductions

Hank & Hal Skit
Taco Queen

Facebook Police
“Strauss Fest is Straussful”

Craptastic Product :Knit your own royal wedding

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1449409245/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-link

Weekly Rant: Top 5 Shows that didn’t know when to quit
- Intro & Outro music provided by The Royaltons
- Commercial Break music provided by Frankly Scarlet

- This week’s Hank & Hal skit written by Chris Cowan

- This week’s closing sketch written by Chris Cowan

Don’t touch that dial! Coming up next on…
“People who compare everything to the holocaust”

49: Top 5 Twisted Kids Movies

Episode 49, July 29th, 2011

-Introductions

Hank & Hal Skit
“Homeless” by Nate Henderson

Facebook Police - ”The Mythology of Facebook”

Craptastic Product
Braco: His silent gaze brings us a gift

http://www.braco.net/?page_id=46

Weekly Rant
Top 5 Twisted Kids Movies
- Intro & Outro music provided by The Royaltons
- Commercial Break music provided by Frankly Scarlet
- This week’s Hank & Hal skit written by Nate Henderson
- This week’s closing sketch written by Chris Cowan

Don’t touch that dial! Coming up next on…
“Embarrassing Moments for Famous Artists”

48: No Shows

Air Date: 5/13/2011

On this Episode:

- Hank & Hal: “Interview” – Written by Nate Henderson

- Facebook Police: “Smurfy Poo”

- Craptastic Product: No Show Anymore

- Coming Up Next: “My Niiiinjaa!”

Intro/Outro Music by the Royaltons

SECRET BONUS HANK & HAL SKIT: “Abduction” by Chris Cowan

47: Craptastic Bonanza

Air Date: 5/6/2011

On this Episode:

- Hank & Hal: “Hal Is Sent A Broad” – Written by Chris Cowan

- Facebook Police: “Quote Yourself”

- Craptastic Product/Weekly Topic: Craptastic Product Bonanza!

Shed Vac – As Seen On TV

Prana – nail mat. Acupressure mat with luxury design!

Guidespot: Ridiculous & Unnecessary Products & Inventions

Rejuvenique Electric Facial Mask

Doc Bottoms Aspray™ – Official Site – buyaspray.com

CatGenie – The World’s Only Self-Flushing, Self Washing Cat Box

- Coming Up Next: “Vote for Hal”

Intro/Outro Music by the Royaltons

46: Best & Worst of the 80′s

Air Date: 4/15/2011

On this Episode:

- National Anthem Fail we missed (Sent in by Brocke Lively):

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kputKjS2HLk

- Hank & Hal: “New VP” – Written by Chris Cowan

- Facebook Police: “Girl Scout Cookies” & “Swallow Your Pride & Prejudice”

- Craptastic Product: Amazon.com: While You Are Gone: Music Pets Love: Bradley Joseph, Robbins Island Music: Music

- Weekly Topic: The Top 5 Best and Top 5 Worst Things About the 80′s!

- Coming Up Next: “Learning Your Days of the Week”

Intro/Outro Music by the Royaltons

45: Easily Offended

Air Date: 4/8/2011

On this Episode:

- Hank & Hal: “April Fools” – Written by Chris Cowan

- Facebook Police: “Marking His Territory” & “Showering With Your Clothes On”

- Craptastic Product: Froot Guard

- Weekly Topic: Dealing with Easily-Offended People

- Coming Up Next: “April Fools Pranks Gone Bad”

Intro/Outro Music by the Royaltons

44: Failed American Idol Auditions

Air Date: 2/18/2011

On this Episode:

- Hank & Hal: “Excercise Video” – Written by Chris Cowan

- Facebook Police: “Holy Doo Doo Batman!”

- Craptastic Product: Aaah™ – Toilet Paper Foam Moistener : Feel as clean as you can be -submitted by Paul Gudgel

- Weekly Topic: Failed American Idol Auditions: Top 10 Worst National-Anthem Renditions

- Coming Up Next: “Christina Aguilera Says the Pledge of Allegiance”
Written by Chris Quandt

Intro/Outro Music by the Royaltons

43: Business Trip

Air Date: 2/11/2011

On this Episode:

- Hank & Hal: “Scruples” – Written by Nate Henderson

- Facebook Police: “Vanity, thy name is Facebook”

- Craptastic Product: Bed Books, the revolutionary way to print books for comfortable reading in bed.” -submitted by Paul Gudgel

- Weekly Topic: Cowan’s Business Trip

- Coming Up Next: “Racist Morons”
Written by Chris Cowan

Intro/Outro Music by the Royaltons

42: Strange Career Choices

Air Date: 1/21/2011

On this Episode:

- Hank & Hal: “Windows Upgrade” – Written by Nate Henderson

- Facebook Police: “Sweaty Beets”

- Craptastic Product: buylazy.com -submitted by Paul Gudgel

- Weekly Topic: “Jobs that nobody should want, but… they do…”

- Coming Up Next: “Stuff Not Recorded in the Bible”
Written by Chris Quandt

Intro/Outro Music by the Royaltons

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